I am in love with my husband, we have been together for a long time and he still makes my heart skip a beat. I still get butterflies in my tummy when I make him laugh. Last night we lay in bed talking about how much fun we had at our wedding. It was a blast, a great party, and we didn’t even want to leave but they were shutting down the hall. After 9 years all those memories came flooding back to us and we wanted to relive it all over again. This to me is a gift, to be deeply in love after all the trials and tribulations, we’ve gone through in our years together. He has seen me through the deaths of my Grandparents, my one and only beloved Mom and Dad, and the suicide of my step sister. I have held his hand as he lost his biological Father, his Grandparents, and our best friend Marco who was like our brother, from another Mother. After everything that grief puts you through the heartache, stress, the feeling of being numb while your mind rattles around in your body, we have endured. I have known even when I was 12 years old and the first time I met him, he would be my forever.
“Love…it surrounds every being and extends slowly to embrace all that shall be.”
I have grown up believing that things and people don’t last forever. But it’s very important to treat them like they do. We have carved out a wonderful life together, and in that time have had our beautiful sons join our journey. Our oldest who’s bravery, intelligence, and deep capacity to love constantly amaze me. And our youngest who’s life started so early with his premature birth, his courage, his heart, his natural comedic talent, his love for his family and friends moves me to tears. I am so in love and connected with our sons. I knew even in utero that they were meant to join my life. I had my oldest who is Daddy’s boy that would kick me awake as soon as he knew Daddy was home from hockey. And my youngest who is Mommy’s boy, when I was meditating would roll around till he was comfortable and then be completely still. I knew he was listening to my heart beat in perfect synchronicity with his own. I knew and felt this spiritual connection with my sons as my empathic nature does. Yet I feel they are my blessings and my lessons to learn in life. They are mine and my loves children yet they belong to God and the world. I see great things for our sons and by raising them with good morals, values, and a strong work ethic will be our greatest accomplishment. To see them grow up to be kind, genuine, strong, compassionate, loving men will fulfill my life’s purpose. It’s like my favorite philosopher and poet, Kahlil Gibran says in his book The Prophet
“You’re children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself. They came through you but not from you, and though they are with you, and yet they
do not belong to you.
I read that to my Captain when he was only 2 months old as he looked into my eyes, and I was lost in the depths of wisdom. Very deep I know and I’ve read that passage countless times absorbing a new meaning each time. Sometimes my emotions overcome me by how much I’m in love with my family. They make me better a woman, wife, Mother, and sister. And with that knowledge I can learn to be more in love with myself.